My Experience
I first had issues with low self esteem in middle school, starting late 6th grade year. I was bullied in middle school; I was a late bloomer and didn’t really look like my peers. I honestly looked like I belonged in the 4th grade. I was teased about my looks, my hair color, clothes, you name it. People who I thought were my friends…turned out to be the ones starting most of the rumors and jokes. They basically used me. The teachers did take me under their wings but never did anything about the bullying. It was tough getting through middle school.
In high school, I finally caught up to my peers and I had a best friend for the first time in my life. I was known as the sweet quiet one, however, truth was I was really just afraid of putting myself out there. I was afraid of being judged, and looking stupid and being made fun of.
My poor self esteem led me to the wrong kind of boys. I was led to them because they showed attention to me. My first serious relationship lasted about 7 years on and off and was very unhealthy. I couldn’t see it, and when I did I was too afraid to let the relationship end because I was sure nobody else would want me and I was afraid of being alone. I was forced into doing things I wasn’t ready for. I did it because I didn’t want to be alone. He cheated on me more times than I can remember, but I always took him back for fear of being alone.
I have been unhappy and confused throughout my life. I always felt like I was getting the short end of the stick. On top of my low self esteem I have had to deal with several medical issues starting when I was about 16. I have had kidney infections, kidney stones and bladder infections that have all put me in the hospital. I have had to deal with depression, bi-polar disorder, anxiety, and panic attacks. I also suffer from Endometriosis as well as chronic migraines. Needless to say all these medical issues did not make me feel good about myself and only added to my low self esteem.
I graduated from high school in 2002, and attended Western Kentucky University for Elementary Education. While attending Western I was diagnosed with a learning disability. This was a blow to me. I felt even more stupid and unworthy. However, I learned that I couldn’t let that stop me and I learned to use the tools available to me to help myself succeed. I attended the University of Louisville for a couple more years before leaving. Do I plan to go back? Of course. It's just not the right time for me. I'm now working at a law firm in Louisville, KY and am very happy with the progress I've made there.
When I met my husband Carl, things began to get better for me because I was with someone who loved me for me. I didn’t have to be someone I wasn’t. I was free to be myself with him. He always made me feel really good about myself and showed me the way that I had been thinking was untrue. We have one child, a daughter who was born in 2011.
Still today I am known as the sweet quiet one. It takes a long time for me to “act myself” around people. I don’t like it, but I felt as if I was being judged and that people were talking negative about me. I feared that my friends didn’t really like me and that they were just pretending to be my friends (as it was in middle school), even though they told me otherwise. I feared of being wrong and was afraid of looking stupid.
I wanted to start EMPOWER because I don’t want others to go through the same things I have gone through. Nobody deserves to live life constantly thinking about how they are messing up and to fear people are negatively judging them. Not only do I want to help people with self esteem issues, I want to try and stop it before it starts.
I’ve learned that to have good self esteem I have to accept myself. I know who I want to be and I am finally on that road. Before there was always a wall that stopped me from breaking free. I wanted to be able to hold my head up, speak up and out and be free. I really just wanted to be able to let go. Since focusing on who I want to be and what I want out of life, I have felt more ‘empowered’ and have been able to put myself out there and open up…hence the name of my program “EMPOWER”. I want others to learn how to empower themselves and become who they truly want to be.
In high school, I finally caught up to my peers and I had a best friend for the first time in my life. I was known as the sweet quiet one, however, truth was I was really just afraid of putting myself out there. I was afraid of being judged, and looking stupid and being made fun of.
My poor self esteem led me to the wrong kind of boys. I was led to them because they showed attention to me. My first serious relationship lasted about 7 years on and off and was very unhealthy. I couldn’t see it, and when I did I was too afraid to let the relationship end because I was sure nobody else would want me and I was afraid of being alone. I was forced into doing things I wasn’t ready for. I did it because I didn’t want to be alone. He cheated on me more times than I can remember, but I always took him back for fear of being alone.
I have been unhappy and confused throughout my life. I always felt like I was getting the short end of the stick. On top of my low self esteem I have had to deal with several medical issues starting when I was about 16. I have had kidney infections, kidney stones and bladder infections that have all put me in the hospital. I have had to deal with depression, bi-polar disorder, anxiety, and panic attacks. I also suffer from Endometriosis as well as chronic migraines. Needless to say all these medical issues did not make me feel good about myself and only added to my low self esteem.
I graduated from high school in 2002, and attended Western Kentucky University for Elementary Education. While attending Western I was diagnosed with a learning disability. This was a blow to me. I felt even more stupid and unworthy. However, I learned that I couldn’t let that stop me and I learned to use the tools available to me to help myself succeed. I attended the University of Louisville for a couple more years before leaving. Do I plan to go back? Of course. It's just not the right time for me. I'm now working at a law firm in Louisville, KY and am very happy with the progress I've made there.
When I met my husband Carl, things began to get better for me because I was with someone who loved me for me. I didn’t have to be someone I wasn’t. I was free to be myself with him. He always made me feel really good about myself and showed me the way that I had been thinking was untrue. We have one child, a daughter who was born in 2011.
Still today I am known as the sweet quiet one. It takes a long time for me to “act myself” around people. I don’t like it, but I felt as if I was being judged and that people were talking negative about me. I feared that my friends didn’t really like me and that they were just pretending to be my friends (as it was in middle school), even though they told me otherwise. I feared of being wrong and was afraid of looking stupid.
I wanted to start EMPOWER because I don’t want others to go through the same things I have gone through. Nobody deserves to live life constantly thinking about how they are messing up and to fear people are negatively judging them. Not only do I want to help people with self esteem issues, I want to try and stop it before it starts.
I’ve learned that to have good self esteem I have to accept myself. I know who I want to be and I am finally on that road. Before there was always a wall that stopped me from breaking free. I wanted to be able to hold my head up, speak up and out and be free. I really just wanted to be able to let go. Since focusing on who I want to be and what I want out of life, I have felt more ‘empowered’ and have been able to put myself out there and open up…hence the name of my program “EMPOWER”. I want others to learn how to empower themselves and become who they truly want to be.